Missing things

Ok so its approximately two days to my birthday...the time that should be filled with happiness etc right? Well i guess it always is for me, but you know, i cant ignore the feeling of emptiness inside me anymore. I have spent every birthday wishing for something or someone and wanting something or someone...sad right? You could say so. Its exactly that want that generates the empty feeling...and im becoming increasingly despondent about it. Can life for once, just give me what i actually want on that day? Can i maybe just once, share it with someone special or close? They say that whoever said that happiness cant be bought just does not know where to shop, but i beg to differ. Yes on this day i shall get material goods that i will probably like alot, but what of my emotional state? That deserves to get spoilt too...to be made whole or something, or just to stop missing things...now that would be a better gift than most. Oh well, i wait in nonchalant state, and till then, i say rather cynically, that i expect pure joy will come in one of the packages, making it all better